lassically, a mentor is someone who has come before you and done what you want to do. They share their experience and knowledge, and they guide a mentee’s professional and personal development. Mentors can act as role models, teachers, counselors, advisors, sponsors, advocates, and allies. But being an effective mentor is not easy. As the adage states, “a mentor is a compass that guides you without telling you which way to go.”

The concept of mentorship dates to ancient times. Homer’s Odyssey provides an early fictional example when Odysseus entrusts his son to a loyal friend named Mentor when he departs for the Trojan War. Spoiler alert: in the story Mentor is actually Athena, the goddess of wisdom. Alaska Native and Indigenous cultures have other examples of mentorship which live on today in the revered roles for Elders, grandparents, godparents, and aunties and uncles. Lived wisdom from ancestors carried through stories, art, dance, music, craft, and in other forms of remembrance can be a time-honored version of mentorship.

A singular definition of mentorship is hard to nail down. A 1991 study, Mentoring and Undergraduate Academic Success: A Literature Review, by Maryann Jacobi identified fifteen different definitions with the following shared characteristics:

• Helping the individual grow and accomplish goals using multiple approaches to do so;
• Providing professional and career development support, role modeling, and psychosocial support through planned activities; and
• A relationship that is personal and reciprocal.

Mentorship differs from other forms of training like workshops, seminars, or traditional courses in that it often has no defined curriculum or expected outcomes, and mentorship is generally anchored with a personal relationship. There are many other positive connections that do not quite come up to the level of mentor, including coach, advisor, guide, and role model. Coaches tend to focus on specific skills or behaviors. Advisors provide general and intermittent counsel. A guide generally has less experience than a mentor. And role models provide an inspirational ideal but often without a personal relationship.

Similarly, sponsors and mentors are not synonymous. Both can contribute to personal and professional growth, but their roles differ. Sponsors, typically senior colleagues, actively advocate for the advancement of their protégées. They use their influence to secure high-profile assignments and leverage their political capital to champion and propel their protégées’ careers forward. The Leadership Research Institute, a global consulting firm, makes the following distinction:

“A mentor might show you where the door is, describe it to you, and support you with advice as you attempt to go through it. In contrast, a sponsor will take you by the hand and walk you through the door. In some cases, the sponsor will even bust down the door for you.”

The benefits of mentorship on the receiving side are invaluable. By learning from experienced professionals, mentees gain deep industry insights and develop essential skills. Mentors also help mentees build a strong network of connections, provide objective feedback, and boost their confidence and motivation. A mentor can also be a reliable source for letters of recommendation for school, promotion consideration, or a new job search. In these and many other ways, mentorship can play a pivotal role in achieving career goals.

Less obvious are the perks for mentors in this relationship, but they are there. Maddy Stokes, program manager for the Elder Mentor and Senior Companion programs at Rural Alaska Community Action Program, says, “I’ve seen firsthand the connection to community and improved mental health that being a mentor provides. It goes beyond sticking to a schedule and having something to look forward to; mentors get energy and joy from sharing knowledge and experience with the next generation. It is rejuvenating and puts your life into perspective unlike anything else.”

In the most equitable mentorship arrangements, “reverse mentoring” also occurs, which is the senior person learning from the more junior one. This recognizes that there are skill gaps on both sides, and each person can address their weaknesses with the help of the other’s strengths.

Organizations can also benefit from mentorship programs since they help develop a resilient team culture, which can adapt to competitive and market challenges. Such programs have the potential to create a pipeline of leaders equipped with the tools and perspectives to thrive. This can boost employee retention, increase engagement and satisfaction, and positively impact the professional lives of the people in your company.

An early step in finding a mentor should be identifying your needs and goals. What specific areas are you looking for guidance in, and what are your long-term career aspirations? A good mentor can make a huge imprint on your life, but you should first roughly know your strengths, areas for development, and how well you receive feedback. Reflecting on this is a good starting point for your initial conversations with them.

Think about who might be the best fit for you. Consider individuals in your industry who inspire you and have the qualities you wish you had. Prioritize those that you’ve seen who are willing to collaborate with and value growth in others. A good place to start your search is in your existing professional network: current colleagues, former associates, and professional connections, including from online networking platforms.

The next step is making the ask. A surprising number of people get stuck here. Sure, it can be intimidating, but the worst that can happen is that they say, “No, thank you.” You can put your best foot forward by making a compelling pitch that includes your goals, how the mentor’s experience aligns with yours, and what you hope to accomplish during the relationship. A pro tip is to include how you will both mutually benefit. If they decline, be respectful and ask if they can make a recommendation.

A bad mentorship relationship often comes down to a mismatched pairing that results in ineffective communication and poor goal clarity, which can stall the development process early. It is also crucial for mentors to maintain confidentiality and protect the trust of their mentees—especially in a state where there are often just one or two degrees of separation. Mentors should avoid forcing their views or agendas, and they should recognize that they are not trying to create clones of themselves. This is often easier said than done.

Mentees might also have to adapt their mentor’s advice and feedback for their particular situation. This code switching, a strategy to alter self-presentation in different contexts and situations, can be significant when a mentor’s background is remarkably different from their mentee. On the other end of the spectrum, mentors need to take care and to keep their mentee from developing an unhealthy dependence as part of the growing relationship.

It is important to set clear expectations early on, including how often you wish to meet and your preferred meeting methods, which could include face-to-face meetings, video conferencing, or email. Mentees should be willing to take the initiative and come prepared with questions and topics to discuss. Be open to feedback, but understand that you may need to code switch for your particular situation. The strength of a mentorship relationship is that it goes beyond business networking and other forms of training, so be open to building a strong genuine relationship that includes being respectful and appreciative of a mentor’s time and guidance.

Sue McIntosh, program manager for the Alaska Statewide Mentor Project, a mentorship system supporting early-career teachers throughout Alaska since 2003, sums it up well: “The best mentorship programs dedicate time to the process, knowing that connection, communication, and collaboration doesn’t just happen. Mentors build on strengths and understand they are not creating copies of themselves but rather supporting the next generation.”